Saturday, August 18, 2007

The End of It All

I've been thinking a lot lately about how we deal with our own mortality and the mortality of our loved ones.
I've focused more on the latter most of the time, because I never really thought about or feared my own death as much. This morning, I started thinking about it more.
I wondered what it would be like to not be. Or if my consciousness would be somewhere else, some other place where I'd be unable to communicate with the living.
Mostly, I thought about an episode of the television show "Scrubs" I saw recently, where an elderly patient who is checked into the hospital says she's ready to die. Her doctor, the main character J.D., finds this hard to believe and has her go over a list of things to do before you die. She's done most of them; he hasn't.
"What about you?" she asks him. "How many things have you done?"
She tells him to worry about himself, not her.
And she's right. I should be worrying less about the eventual demise of my loved ones and more about how I'm going to feel when that moment comes.
I envision myself hurtling toward death, but also thoughtfully savoring each moment. Not as if it were my last, but as if I were to run out of them. Because I will someday.
I want to feel as if I've spent my time wisely when I die. I want to be like Mrs. Tanner, and be ready for death when it comes.
Here's to living for today.

Saturday, July 14, 2007


One of my blog friends has pointed out some articles on codependency which I found enlightening.
As I understand it from these articles, codependency is a faulty relationship with yourself. It is searching for self-worth and happiness outside of yourself rather than inside.
That is what I think the Bible means when it says not to worship idols. Idols are that which can't grant happiness and self-worth, but which take the place of what legitimately can - God or Goddess within you.
I think the key to virtue and happiness is knowing that you are worthy because you, in a sense, are God, to merge love and virtue and the highest ideals with your view of yourself. To know that you are Good.
This doesn't mean every human being is perfect, but that we each have the spark in us and the potential to be and do good in the world.
If we see ourselves as worthy, we don't have such a hatred and self-sacrificial view towards others. We have a more balanced view of humanity, because we come from a place of loving concerning ourselves.
This is the page that I have found to be most helpful.
UPDATE: this is the original post which helps me so much. Thanks Glogrl.

Monday, May 28, 2007


I've found that meditation helps me focus.
It's kind of a reverse psychology, really. I discipline my mind to let itself wander and not get stuck on any one thing. This allows me to move on from a thought when I need to, and at the same time relish the pleasant ones I have. I can fully digest each idea this way.
It's kind of combined with the idea of letting feelings pass, observing them without judging them. Negative feelings are more likely to flee this way, and positive ones can be savored without guilt.
I think I'll do this more often.

Saturday, May 5, 2007

Why vs. How

I've started reading Rich Dad, Poor Dad: What the Rich Teach Their Kids About Money - That The Poor and Middle Class Do Not! by Robert T. Kiyosaki with Sharon L. Lechter, C.P.A.
I've only made it to page 17. But I've already learned a valuable lesson.
The question to ask isn't "Why?," it's "How?"
I often ask "why" in an effort to get information to solve a problem. That's all well and good. But I shouldn't stop there.
So often I don't even ask "why"; I just take for granted that I can't change something.
Even if it ends up that I can't change something after all, I should be asking "how" I can change it anyway. As Kiyosaki's rich father says, asking "how" exercises your brain and makes it stronger. Your brain is better off for it. And most likely, you'll be able to find out a "how" you didn't think of before.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Wisdom and Love: An untraditional, Biblical perspective

"The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge,
but fools [a] despise wisdom and discipline."
From the biblical book of Proverbs
A lot of people interpret this to mean religion is the core of knowledge. I don't think this is the case. Religion is a means to an end - God - not the end itself.
Here is my "translation" of the above verse:
"Respect for love is the beginning of knowledge,
But morally deficient people despise wisdom and discipline."
The note you see there, "a," was put there by the people at
I think it's important to understand what Biblical writers mean when they mention "fools" and "fear." A "fool," as the notes says, is a morally deficient person, and "fear" means "respect." A "fool" is not someone with a low IQ, and "fear" doesn't mean "I do what they say because I have to."
One major problem I have with some people's understanding of the Bible is that they don't realize the words were translated from Hebrew. Or rather, they act as if their version of the Bible is the only one that is good, and as if synonyms can't be used.
But when you translate from a foreign language, that's what happens.
As for my substitution of "Love" for "LORD"... here is my rationale for that.
"Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love."
1 John 4:8
And what is love?
" Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
1 Corinthians 13:4
So many forget this simple, beautiful passage. The question "what is love" has been asked in pop music, in literature, and in churches. The answer is right there.
"He who seeks good finds goodwill,
but evil comes to him who searches for it."
Proverbs 11:27